


Regrets

by malum_animi



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt, more like shades of rolleigns, rather than full rolleigns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 15:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3900664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malum_animi/pseuds/malum_animi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth regrets a lot in his life. He regrets letting Hunter get to him. He regrets turning his backs on the two men he loved like family. He regrets agreeing to Kane helping him win Money in the Bank. But most of all, he regrets it's taken him 28 years to realize the truth. He's worth nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

_"Come on Reigns, pin him! What are you waiting for!"_  

 

Seth regrets a lot in his life. He regrets letting Hunter get to him. He regrets turning his backs on the two men he loved like family. He regrets agreeing to Kane helping him win Money in the Bank. But most of all, he regrets it's taken him 28 years to realize the truth. He's worth nothing. He hadn't realized this until he looked in the mirror that morning, dull eyes staring back at him from the dirty glass. 

 He was worth nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing but a waste of breath. A thorn in the sides of everyone around him. Hated by the fans, the roster, the very men he still loved like none other. 

 They hated him most. 

 He could see it the blue eyes of Dean, practically glowing with it whenever he looked at him. He way his lip curled and he spat when he was forced to talk to him. Dean took betrayal to heart. Seth had always known that. He wore his heart on his sleeve and loved people with everything he had. And he never forgot when someone betrayed him. 

 He could see it in the coldness that surrounded Roman. The way he tensed whenever Seth passed by. The way his fist curled and a soft growl would escape him. Roman was a fierce protector. He didn't let people in easily, he didn't trust easily. And once that trust was broken, there was no repairing the shattered pieces.

 Rubbing his shaking hands over his face, Seth swallowed hard and looked down at the sink, hands gripping the ceramic edges. He couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't...he couldn't live like this anymore. Hunter had never cared, The Authority had never cared. That was obvious in the way no one had noticed the way Seth had slowly been declining, had slowly been getting worse and worse with each passing day as they schemed behind closed doors. 

 

Wrestlemania was today. Seth knew he should be feeling completely different. This was his moment. This was the day he made something of himself. At least that was what

 

Hunter was telling him. That smirk on his face as he smoothed a hand over his tie and tugged Stephanie against his side, Kane glowering next to him. Today was the day that he would make them proud.

They were right about one thing. Today was his moment. Today was the day he made something of himself. Just not in the way that The Authority expected. He had always been expected to cash in during Roman's match with Lesnar. That had always been the plan. He would cash in, steal the belt right under their noses and make off with it back to The Authority. And, with a head still reeling from the best RKO people had seen in years, that was just what Seth was going to do. Well. For the most part. He could hear his music blaring in his ears as he ran down the ramp, briefcase in hand and then he was shoving it at the ref. One of the few things he remembered from the match was how Lesnar's head sounded when he curb stomped him into the mat. The second was how he barely avoided Roman's vicious, desperation fueled spear, watching as Lesnar took the full brunt of it. 

 

The third was how he screamed at Roman. Loud enough that he knew all the mics and probably the first few rows of fans picked it up clearly. "Come on Reigns, pin him! What are you waiting for!" 

 

The fourth was the look in Roman's grey eyes. The way he stared at Seth as he stumbled to his feet, the belt being pushed into his hands as his music, and god how hearing that music tugged on his heart, played the the fans screamed for him. It was a look he didn't think he would ever see again. Mixed in with the shock, the surprise and the disbelief was pride. 

 

Seth was nearly sick to his stomach. He rolled out of the ring and stumbled back up the ramp, shouldering past Jamie and ducking out of the arena just as he heard Hunter's angry roar of his name. 

 

For the first time in a year he felt at peace with himself as he opened the door of his hotel room, stepping into the tiny room and swallowing hard as he looked around. Smiling a little as he dropped his bag and sat down heavily on the bed, he looked down at the belt that was lying next to him. He hoped Roman would see his actions as what they were. An apology, the only thing he knew to do to try and fix what he had broken. 

 

Picking up the belt, he ran the soft, faded leather through his hands and stood up. He hoped Jamie and Joey wouldn't be the ones to find him. He had grown fond of the two, and a small part of him wondered if they would miss him. But no, he wanted Hunter to be the one to find him. To see what he had caused. He hoped it haunted him for the rest of his life. Making a loop in the belt, Seth hooked the buckle on the back of the bathroom door, running his fingers over it one more time as he slipped it around his neck, feeling calm and collected for the first time in a long time as he let his knees buckle, the leather quickly cutting off his breathing as he closed his eyes. 

 

He was free. 

 

The next thing he felt was his body being lifted up and the belt being ripped off his neck as his eyes opened in shock, staring up at the wide and scared grey eyes of Roman. "What..." he trailed off as Roman fell his his knees with him, strong arms wrapped around his body. 

 

"What the fuck Seth? I knew something was wrong, I knew it. But fuck. Killing yourself?" Roman muttered, shaking his head and raising a shaking hand up to push his hair out of his eyes. I...I...what are you doing here?" Seth asked increduously, still staring up at Roman in shock. Roman was supposed to be celebrating with his family right now, not sitting in Seth's floor after ruining the first good choice he had made in over a year. 

 

"I knew something was wrong. I could tell. We spent a lot of time together brother in case you've forgotten. I know you like the back of my hand." Roman said with a growl, glaring at Seth in worry. 

 

"You shouldn't have stopped me. Why did you stop me?" Seth asked, pushing Roman away from him and falling onto the floor with a thump, scrambling away from him until his back his the side of the bed. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, burying his face in his knees. 

 

Roman frowned deeply and crawled forward, taking Seth's hands in his and pulling them away so he could cup his face in his hands, raising his head up. "Because I wasn't going to let you die." was the quiet response, thumbs stroking gently over Seth's cheeks. 

 

Seth looked up at Roman, staring at him as he tried not to lean into the warm hands on his face "But...why?" he asked again, his hands shaking as he gripped at his own legs "You hate me." he mumbled.

 

Roman sighed and shook his head, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Seth's forehead "I've never hated you Seth. Never. Not even after everything you did. You're my brother Seth. Then, now, and forever." he murmured softly, dropping his hands from Seth's face to pull him in by his shoulders, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and holding him tight "I'd be lost if you were gone." he muttered into Seth's hair.

 

"I'm so sorry..." Seth mumbled, tucking himself against Roman's chest and burying his face in his shoulder, hands coming up to grip at the material of Roman's t-shirt. "I'm so fucking sorry." he said with a choked sob.

 

Roman hushed him and ran his fingers through Seth's hair "I know. I know you are. I've always known. You're not very good at hiding what you're feeling." he pointed out with a barely there smile. 

 

"I'm so--" Seth was caught off guard by Roman's lips on his own and he closed his eyes, leaning into the soft kiss and returning it hesitantly. 

 

 "Hush." Roman said with he pulled away, resting their foreheads together "No more of that. We're moving on okay? Together. Me and you. And Dean if we can get him to cooperate." he said softly, cupping Seth's cheek again and patting it gently. 

 

Seth didn't stop himself from leaning into Roman's touch this time and he cracked a tiny smile, the death grip he hand on the others shirt finally relaxing a little as he nodded  silently. 

 

Seth had a lot of regrets in his life. He was suicidal, so deeply lost in depression he hadn't though he could ever pull himself out of it. He had a list of regrets from the past year alone that was longer than his arm.

 

But Roman Reigns wasn't one of them. 


End file.
